


Teeing Off Thaddeus

by lyricwritesprose



Series: Warlock Dowling's Not Entirely Normal Life [5]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Crowley is Good With Kids (Good Omens), Gen, Humor, Or in this case teenagers, Thaddeus Dowling once again manages to be a git from offscreen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:00:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27962666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyricwritesprose/pseuds/lyricwritesprose
Summary: Crowley and Warlock have a project.  It'stremendouslywicked.
Series: Warlock Dowling's Not Entirely Normal Life [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1461898
Comments: 40
Kudos: 152





	Teeing Off Thaddeus

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is one that I wrote for the SOSH discord server's Guess The Author contest, and then decided to go with a different one instead. I hope you guys enjoy it!

“Right. So, we roll the seeds and the compost and the clay together, like we were making cookies.”

“Smelly cookies. Ugh.”

“This was your idea, Warlock.”

“Was not! I just said it would be nice to  _ do _ something.”

“Well, this is something.”

“Aziraphale says that this is a good deed. That it’ll increase biodiversity and destroy a mono-whatsit, and he’s been reading about it and it’s very important.”

“You don’t listen to him. You listen to me. This is extremely wicked.”

“Right . . .”

“And also fun. Go ahead and select the seeds.”

“Got some.”

“Now, that really  _ is _ wicked. Well done. Let’s roll them in together . . .”

§

“Mom’ll throw a fit if she realizes I’m gone.”

“She won’t. And it’s best to do this in the middle of the night. Fewer people around.”

“I think there’s security, though.”

“There’s absolutely security, but I have an official vehicle and a jacket with stripes on it. You stay down in the back of the car.”

“Got it.”

§

“Gosh, I think that would have been a hole in one if it had been a golf ball and not a seed bomb.”

“This is going to drive Dad  _ nuts, _ isn’t it?”

“Your dad, and most of the politicians who come to this course. So, you see, you’re increasing world tensions just like a proper demon child should. Now give me the whatever-iron and let me have a go.”

“This one’s a wood, Nanny. I know because Dad wanted me to learn golf. I hate it. It’s all dumb people walking around making dumb jokes and talking about dumb things. Dumbly. I remember telling him that if he wanted to spend time with me, maybe we should do one of  _ my _ things for a change, and he said that I’d appreciate this more when I’m older. And I suppose he was right after all, because I  _ do _ appreciate being able to smack one of these seed bombs halfway down the fairway. That was a lousy shot, Nanny. Here, let me show you.”

“No, let’s walk down to the next hole first. We want to seed them all over. By the way, I do think it was very wicked of you to pack most of these with mint. Mint is the Jason Voorhees of plants. You think you’ve got it, and then  _ guess who’s back.” _

“Very wicked, huh?”

“Absolutely. I’m proud of you, hellspawn.”


End file.
